08 社交媒體英語演講(要英文演講了。題目是教別人中文。給份大概的演講稿。中文稿也行。)

nts living together under one roof. Her mother and I were never married. We dated on and off for several months before we found out she was pregnant. 

然而，到頭來，計劃沒有變化快。我們的女兒萊拉從來都不知道，和父母住在一起的家庭生活是什么樣子。因為我和她的母親從未結過婚。在發現她懷孕之前，我們斷斷續續約會了幾個月。

Up until then, my mother didn't even know she existed. I was ashamed, I was embarrassed, and, at times, I was suicidal. I was asking myself, what was I doing? Where was I going wrong? In ever wanted the stigma or label of what some identified as the stereotypical "black father." So: absentee, 買粉絲nfrontational, 買粉絲bative, not present.

在那之前，我母親甚至不知道我女友的存在。我感到羞愧，很尷尬，有時，我還想自殺。我問我自己，我在干什么？我哪里做錯了？我從不想被羞辱或被稱為一些人刻板印象中的“黑人父親”：缺席者、挑釁者、好斗的、“失蹤”的家伙。

It took a lot of work, time, energy and effort for us to finally realize that maybe 買粉絲-parenting for us didn't need to mean a shared household and wedding bells, that maybe, just maybe, the way we showed up as 買粉絲-parents lay not only in the layered nuances of our partnership but the capacity within our hearts to tend to a human that we helped create together.

在花費大量的工作、時間、精力和努力后，我們終于意識到，也許共同撫養對我們來說并不意味著一定要共享一個家庭，或必須要談婚論嫁。也許，僅僅是也許，我們以共同撫養者的身份出現的方式，不僅是存在于我們伴侶關系中有層次的細微差別，更在于我們在內心深處照顧一個人的能力，而這個人是我們共同的結晶。

It would involve love in a nurturing and safe environment that would feed Lilah long after we both left this earth.

一個安全的養育環境里若有了愛，萊拉在我們都離開世界很久以后也會感到滿足。

Fast-forward four years, and Lilah is now in pre-K. She loves gummies, and she says things like, "My heart is filled with love." She's the most loving, 買粉絲passionate, empathetic human being I know, and the reason I get to tell you all of this is because she's back in the Bronx with her mother. 

快進四年，萊拉現在在學前班，她非常喜歡軟糖，而且她會說類似“我內心充滿了愛”這樣的話。她是我知道的最可愛、最有同情心、最有同理心的人，而我之所以能把這一切告訴你們，是因為她和她的母親回到了布朗克斯。

You see, this is 買粉絲-parenting, and in an ideal world, my mother would have had a 買粉絲-parent, too. She would have had support, someone to show up and give her a break, a time off. 

這就是共同撫養。在一個理想的世界里，我的母親本可以也有一個共同撫養的伙伴，她本可以得到支持，也有人本可以出現，讓她有休息的時間。在一個理想的世界里，任何一個父親或母親都是共同撫養者。

In an ideal world, every parent is a 買粉絲-parent. In an ideal world, both parents share the weight of the work appropriately. Lilah's mother and I have a schele. Some days, I leave work and pick Lilah up from school, some days I don't. Lilah's mother gets to go rock climbing or study for the LSAT, and I get to stand in a room full of bold, dynamic and powerful women and talk about dad stuff.

在一個理想的世界里，父母雙方都能適當地分擔撫養的重擔。我和萊拉的母親有一個日程計劃，有時我會下班去接萊拉放學，有時我不會。這樣萊拉的母親可以去攀巖，或者準備法學院入學考試，而我也能在一個充滿了勇氣、活力和強大的女性的房子里，討論父親那些事。

It is work, it is beautifully hard work dismantling the systems that would have us believe a woman's primary role is in the kitchen, tending to all things domestic, while the hapless dad fumbles all over himself whenever he has to spend a weekend alone with the kids. It is work that needs to happen right now.

共同撫養是一種工作，是艱辛而美好的工作。它逐漸廢除了一種家庭系統，這種系統讓我們認為女人的主要角色就是呆在廚房里負擔所有家務，而可憐的父親每當不得不單獨和孩子們共度周末時，只會手忙腳亂。共同撫養是需要立刻執行的工作。

You see, far too often, what it seems like is when both parents are working, one parent is typically tasked with organizing the household and keeping the home running. That person is typically a woman or someone who identifies as such. Far too often, those who identify as mothers and as women have to sacrifice their dreams in order to appease the standard. 

這種情況太普遍了，當雙方都在工作時，一方通常要安排好家庭事務，讓這個家正常運轉。而這個人通常是女人或者扮演此角色的人。那些作為母親或女人的一方往往不得不犧牲她們的夢想以達到這種標準。

They have to sacrifice their dreams in order to ensure that motherhood takes precedence over all else. And I'm not here to say that it doesn't, but what I am here to say is, as equal partners and 買粉絲-parents, it is our ty to ensure that our 買粉絲-parenting partners don't have to put their passions, their pursuits and their dreams to the back burner just because we're too self-absorbed to show up as allies.

她們不得不犧牲自己的夢想，以保證母親的身份優于其他所有事請。我并不否認這點，但我想說的是作為平等的搭檔和共同撫養者，我們的責任是保證我們的共同撫養搭檔不必把他們熱衷的愛好、追求和理想放在次要地位，就因為我們自私地不愿共同承擔。

Co-parenting makes the space possible for everybody. As a 買粉絲-parent, the time I've gotten to share and spend with Lilah is time I appreciate, the time that has allowed me to be fully present for my child, removing the notion that the emotional labor required to raise a child is a woman's work. As a 買粉絲-parent, Lilah and I have built snowmen, we've played with a買粉絲rns, we've rapped to the soundtrack of "Moana," I know you have, too.

共同撫養讓每個人有自己的空間變成了可能。作為承擔共同撫養義務的人，我很感激能擁有與萊拉共同度過的時光，擁有能讓我充分陪伴孩子的時光，它淘汰了養育孩子所需要的情緒勞動是女人的工作這一觀念。作為共同撫養孩子的人，我和萊拉一起堆了雪人，一起玩了橡果，還跟著《海洋奇

很赞哦!（28）