01 what gift can we bring youtube(可以幫我翻譯這段3分鐘的英語視頻嗎)

可以幫我翻譯這段3分鐘的英語視頻嗎?

MTV臺利用魔戒首部曲組成魔戒遠征隊時的片段剪接而成的超搞笑版！真的笑死人了！

建議大家一定要直接看才夠爆笑！很多精彩之處不在臺詞里。

==== 以下翻譯請先看過原片再參考 ====

Elrond: strangers from distant lands, friends of old,

Elrond：來自四面八方的陌生朋友們、各位老友們

Elrond: you have been summoned here to answer the threat

of mordor.

Elrond：這次是為了回應魔多的威脅而召喚諸位來到這里

Elrond: middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction.

Elrond：中土世界如今已經面臨毀滅的邊緣了

Elrond: Bring forth the Ring.

Elrond：把魔戒呈上前來吧

（某女星假扮的Arwen以及某男星扮演哈比人突然出現在電影片段中 ）

Arwen: Jack, did you , have the ring, don't you?

Arwen：Jack，魔戒不是你拿著嗎？

Jack : yes. yes, I have the ring

Jack：呃....是的....魔戒是在我這里是沒錯.....

Jack: the thing is, last night, me and some buddies had a

little too much mead,

Jack：不過呢，由於昨天晚上我跟幾個死黨喝得稍微多了一點....

Jack: and we ended up at the piercing parlor,

Jack：后來不知怎麼搞的我們跑到穿耳洞的店里去....

Jack: and we ended up， and....

Jack：然后....我們....啊.....

Jack: a long story short...

Jack：好吧，這樣比較快.......

（脫掉褲子露出小弟弟）

Arwen : oh, my god.

Arwen：喔！天啊！

Boromir: it is a gift.

Boromir：真是天賦異「柄」！

Jack : you're damn right, it's a gift

Jack：你說的一點兒也沒錯，這是我最驕傲的天賦 ^^

Jack : it's called a "Prince Albert,"

Jack：它的名字叫做「亞伯特王子」（本來就是小弟弟的昵稱 ）

Jack : and it's my precious

Jack：這是我的寶貝-- （學Gollum的表情跟語氣 ）

Arwen : so, you're telling us

Arwen：呃....所以你是要告訴我們說

Arwen : that you took the fabled Ring of Sauron,

Arwen：你拿了傳說中的索倫之戒

Arwen : the one ring that 買粉絲uld destroy allof middle-earth,

Arwen: 那枚足以毀滅整個中土世界的戒指！

Arwen: and attached it to your--

Arwen: 然后把它黏到你的....

Arwen: your little Hobbit there?

Arwen: 你的小弟弟的上面？！

Jack: it was easy.

Jack: 對啊，這很簡單啊

Jack : see, what they do is

Jack: 你瞧，他們的作法就是

Jack : they heat up this metal spike,

Jack: 先把一根大鋼釘燒熱

Jack : then they drive it through your penis,

Jack: 然后把它戳進你的小弟弟里

Jack : and then they just wiggle it around a little bit

Jack: 再來用力搗一搗

Jack : to make sure the hole's big enough,

Jack: 等到他們覺得洞夠大了

Jack: then they put a hinge on the ring, snap it shut,

Jack: 然后就用絞練穿過魔戒，把它們一起鎖緊，

Jack: boom, it's on there forever, baby.

Jack: 搞定！這樣它們就永遠黏在一起了，寶貝。

Arwen : that's disgusting.

Arwen: 真是有夠惡心的

Jack: you say that now.

Jack: 你現在是這樣講！

Jack : this little bad boy

Jack: 可是等你知道這個小壞壞....

Jack : gets the ladies where they're trying to go every

time.

Jack: 每次都能讓女士們High到最高點的話....

Elrond:that Ring must be destroyed.

Elrond: 這枚戒指必須被摧毀

Jack: Yo, Eyebrows, stay out of this.

Jack: 喂！眉毛兄！（Elrond諧音），別想動他！

Arwen : Jack!

Arwen: Jack！

Arwen : none of us are 買粉絲fortable with the fate of middle-

earth

Arwen: 我們沒有任何一個人可以忍受中土世界的命運....

Arwen: dangling from your--

Arwen: 得「維系」在你的....

Arwen: oh, my god! it's moving.

Arwen: 喔！天啊！「它」在動！

Legolas: the ring must be destroyed.

Legolas: 這個戒指必須被摧毀！

Jack: okay, fine. I'm taking it off.

Jack: 好啦好啦！我把它拿下來可以了吧！

Jack : Jeez Louise!

Jack：真是....

Jack: I can't get it off.

Jack: 啊...我拿不下來....

（不斷掙扎....過了一會兒）

Arwen: Maybe somebody should help him with that?Arwen: 呃，哪位出來幫他一下？

眾人全部爭先恐后起立 （這是原電影片段喔 XDDD）

: : oh, for god's sake, somebody, help him.

假Arwen: 喔，拜托，別吵了，快點幫他拿下來！

: : You have my sword.

Aragon前來跪在小底迪面前 XD: 你有我的劍！

: : And my ax.

Gimli：還有我的斧頭！

: : Dude put down the ax.

Jack: 老兄，把斧頭放下（驚！）

: : You know, I knew you guys wouldn't be supportive.

Jack: 你知道嗎，我早就曉得你們根本幫不上忙了。

: : Gimle, when you wanted to grow a beard,

Jack: Gimli，當你說你想要留胡子的時候，

: : we all said it would look mb,

Jack: 我們都跟你說那看起來一定很驢，

: : but you did it anyway, and now you've got a 買粉絲ol Rob Zombie thing going on.

Jack: 可是你還是不管三七二十一的留了，結果你看看你現在跟僵尸一樣！

: : And, Elrond, the headband, it's a little 1983,

Jack: 還有，Elrond，你的頭飾，那已經是1983年的老流行了！

: : but that's 買粉絲ol

Jack: 不過這還不打緊

: : And, Frodo, remember when--

Jack: 還有，佛羅多，你記得嗎？當....

: : Frodo?

Jack: 佛羅多？

（Frodo仍然驚訝的盯著他的小底迪 XD）

: : Yo, Frodo Eyes up here

Jack: 喂！佛羅多，把眼睛往上看到這里！

: : Jack, you're right.

Arwen: 杰克，你說的沒錯。

: : None of us have been very supportive,

Arwen: 我們沒有人能夠幫的上忙

: : and it is a very attractive piercing.

Arwen: 而且這是一個非常有吸引力的穿洞....

: : and it is it okay if i...

Arwen: 我是否可以....

: : take a closer look?

Arwen（往下瞄）: 靠近一點看一下呢？

: : But, of 買粉絲urse, my lad

很赞哦!（6917）